Day 304 of 366
Lessons from Home: Quarantine Edition In the spring, our lives shut down. We did not leave the house for much—not church, work, school. No family visits north. Only trips to Texarkana were for doctor visits. All activities were suspended. No more cheer, dance, t-ball. No birthday parties. No get-togethers with friends. No play dates for…
Day 161 of 366
LISTEN and SILENT are spelled with the same letters. Every teacher knows that. Why? Because nearly every one of us has had (or at least seen) a poster with those words hanging on a classroom wall. It’s a powerful statement. And that’s where I’ve been lately. Silent, so I could listen. I’ve watched friends and…
Day 134 of 366
I glanced up from washing my hands. Paused. Blinked.Looked again.Looked closer.Blinked again.And there it was. A closer look revealed not just one, but several. Some I probably couldn’t see, because the bathroom lighting is so poor. My heart sank, my confidence deflated as I physically felt my youth fade away. So much new growth. Yet…
Day 128 of 366
This week has been so long. I think I’ve cried more this week than I have the last seven weeks combined. Tears of joy. Tears of laughter. Tears of sorrow. Tears of pain. I am grateful for my district. I am grateful for my principal and her thoughtfulness. I am grateful for my co-workers. I am…
Day 127 of 366
Life with God is not immunity from difficulties but peace in difficulties. That was the text from Mr. Roy today. And man, did I need it. Peace is hard to come by, especially these days. I feel guilty for wanting peace and quiet when I’m trying to work, when I should be grateful to have…
Day 105 of 366
“Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.” Every morning, Mr. Roy sends out encouraging texts. I got on the list, because my mom was sending me some, and finally told me to ask him to add me. I look forward to them every day. Sometimes they are…
Day 98 of 366
It’s been 30 days since I wrote with purpose. Every time I have sat down to write, the words just don’t flow with ease the way they used to. My last post was about working on the “shoulda/coulda/woulda” game, and surprisingly, even in a global pandemic, I have done extremely well with that. My therapist…
Day 97 of 366
Been awake since 9am Sunday. It’s midnight Monday night. Lots of mom guilt.Lots of teacher guilt.Lots of guilt. Lots of anxiety.Lots of unknowns.Lots of going and going and going. Because if I stop, then what? I function better in high stress situations. I move into survival mode. There’s no time to let anxiety and fear…
Day 84 of 366
A glimpse into Steele Academy…day 8 of quarantine. I forgot what day it was. But I know it’s Spring Break, and the kids FINALLY decided they wanted to play with toys instead of school first thing this morning. So that’s what they did. For 20 mins. Then, they climbed in my bed and wanted to…
Day 68 of 366
It’s Daylight Savings, and the clock is about to roll forward an hour. So technically, it’s 2:47am. And I’m wide awake. Sometimes, the hardest thing to say “no” to is my brain. It just won’t shut off. And tonight is one of those nights. Which means tomorrow (today) is going to be one of those…
Day 49 of 366
This “no” thing is a lot harder than it looks. Maybe some of it is my obsessive need to make everyone happy, or maybe it’s the guilt I feel when I can see that my “no” has disappointed someone. Whatever it is, the last seven weeks haven’t been easy. And yet, I’m saying it. I’m…
Day 31 of 366
If I had only known. If I had only known that it would be the last real conversation. The last real hug. The last real “I love you, sweet pea.” If I had only known that he’d go home and slip into what would become the longest 27 days of mom’s life—the longest 21 of…
Day 30 of 366
Before Christmas, we had a potluck at work. I chose not to participate. At first, I antagonized over whether or not I should participate. Then, I felt guilt for not wanting to participate. But I also knew that I would feel worse if I did participate and not finish everything else on my to do…
Day 13 of 366
Have you ever read the story of the prodigal son? It’s Luke 15:11-32, and to recap it quickly: A man has two sons. The younger son comes to him and requests his inheritance to which his father agrees. The younger son goes off, wastes the money, and a famine envelops the country. He is left…
Day 10 of 366
I’ve always thought my greatest fear was something superficial, like snakes or high places. I vividly remember the time I was playing outside of my grandparents’ house and a baby snake slithered up near me. Thankfully, it was exterminated rather quickly. I’ve also never been a huge fan of heights. I love the view and…
Day 2 of 366
Well, I had my first opportunity to practice saying no. It happened around 2am. The dreaded middle of the night “mom” cry, the smell of vomit down the hall, and a lovely mess to clean. Thankfully, Daniel was awake, and we were able to tag-team. He bathed the kid; I cleaned the vomit. Goodness, did…
Day 1 of 366
“This will be my year.” Don’t we say that every year? Or some version of that? I’ll lose the weight. I’ll get control of the finances. I’ll do this. I’ll do that. We make these lofty goals, with no plan in place to reach them. Years ago, the idea of a “word” for the year…
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Diary of a Girl from Nowhere 