Day 49 of 366

This “no” thing is a lot harder than it looks.

Maybe some of it is my obsessive need to make everyone happy, or maybe it’s the guilt I feel when I can see that my “no” has disappointed someone. Whatever it is, the last seven weeks haven’t been easy.

And yet, I’m saying it. I’m stepping back from some things, letting someone else take control. The fog is lifting knowing that some of the anxiety and pressure is no longer there.

It feels good.

But then.

There have been those that have not been supportive in my quest for finding balance and saying “no.” It seems they can’t fathom a world where I would stand up for myself, where I would say I’m unavailable, where I would not roll over and be a good dog. That definitely stings.

And yet, I’m keeping on. I’m finding my voice, defining my boundaries. If I lose a few friends along the way, they were never really my friends. As difficult as that may be to face, it’s a lesson I need to learn.

Not everyone is going to like the version of me I want to be, and that’s okay.

Because what matters most is that I like her.

7 weeks down, 46 to go.