Five Years

On February 1st, my sweet, sweet Kasey, a student I’ve had for three years and the Beta club student who adopted me as their teacher this year, gifted this to me.

She wrote in her card, “I never knew your dad, but I know he must’ve been pretty awesome to raise a daughter, mother, sister, teacher, and friend like you. I know February is a hard month for you, but rest assured that you will see your dad again, perhaps not in this life, but in one far greater than you could ever imagine, and that’s something worth celebrating!”

It’s been five years. I miss him just as much today as I did then. My heart pounds. My throats constricts. My eyes leak. My hands trimble. February is hard, but today is the worst.

Yet, I look at this drawing, I read Kasey’s words, and I know she is right. An 18 year old with so much wisdom, so much kindness and compassion and a true servant’s hearts. My dad would have loved her.

I believe that as a teacher, God asks so much from us. We love and hurt for our students. Our hearts are too big, we care too much, and we get too invested. He counts on that—for us to care, to do our best to make a difference. That’s what he creates teachers for…to be safe havens for students. Even when we are just a small blip on their journey.

BUT I also believe he gives back to us through our students…reminders that for every time we feel like we are failing, like we can’t keep doing this, when we need encouragement and light and joy…he gives it back through these kids.

And I’m so grateful at what he’s given me over the last three years.

I am sad. I am hurting. But I will see my dad again. And that is worth celebrating.